Wedding Ettiquette: Send back your effing RSVP!

When I was planning our wedding, the biggest stress factor was not centerpieces, flowers, in-laws or budgets. The one single thing that caused me the most stress was the fact that people were apparently incapable of sending back an addressed, stamped RSVP card.
One of Graham’s friends is getting married in March, and we received the invitation in the mail today. (Oh, and here’s a helpful tip for future brides & grooms: put a last name SOMEWHERE on the freaking invitation…) We’re not going to be able to attend, so I immediately sent back the RSVP card. It literally took less than 30 seconds to write our names, check a box, and put it back in the envelope & seal it. Thirty seconds. So it got me thinking… why is it so damned hard for people to RSVP to a wedding? The person whose invitation we received today did not RSVP to ours. He didn’t send back the (stamped & addressed) postcard, or respond to the multiple texts Graham sent, so I was tempted not to respond. Unfortunately my southern manners & seven years of Hallmark has ingrained proper etiquette in me, so I sent it back.
So, just in case anyone needs a little lesson in sending back an RSVP card, I’m going to break it down so that you all know how easy it is.
1) First you get the invitation in your mailbox one day.

2) You open the envelope and pull out several items, and admire the invitation. Admire the time & money someone spent picking out (or designing) the perfect invitation & RSVP cards. Our RSVP was a postcard (cheaper postage, FTW), but in addition to the invitation & RSVP card, you may have a small (addressed & stamped) envelope.

3) Look how easy it is: you just write your name in the space provided, check a box & write in how many people are attending.

4) Look at that! There is already a stamp & an address! So all that’s left is to put it in a mailbox somewhere.

So there you have it! Sending back an RSVP card takes less than 30 seconds. And it relieves so much stress from an overwhelmed bride. Do you have any idea how satisfying it is to check guests names off of a list? Do you know how stressful it is to not have an RSVP, and have no clue if people are coming? What do you do? Just tell yourself they are coming, and then spend the money as if they are? What if they don’t? You’re out a lot of money. Or just assume that they aren’t coming. And then they do, and you don’t have enough seats, food, alcohol, cake, favors, etc.

Although, what might even be worse is having people RSVP and then not show up. We had about 15 people RSVP “yes”, and then not show up. Thanks for that, by the way. Those 15 people wasted $300 for us. Please keep that in mind when you’re making your plans. Weddings are not cheap, and every little bit helps when you don’t have a Biltmore sized budget.



4 thoughts on “Wedding Ettiquette: Send back your effing RSVP!

  1. Marci J says:

    Amen Amen and Amen. It also is an epidemic when it comes to any type of event- showers, parties etc. I hate when I plan for 30 people to attend because no one RSVP's and end up eating left overs for 15!

  2. Sharon says:

    First, your wedding was beautiful. Second, thank you for speaking the truth! I am going through this nonsense now for my wedding. I never knew people (friends and family) could be so rude. I thought I knew these people… Sadly I am happy too know I am not the only one who has dealt with this foolishness.

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