I feel overwhelmed.
Over the years, I’ve seen countless military families re-home their pets when someone deploys because they can’t handle the responsibility. I’ve seen them utilize Dogs on Deployment, and have the pet boarded when the other person deploys, because everything becomes overwhelming. .
I’m not re-homing any of my fur children, or sending them to live with someone else for the next few months (I would be absolutely lost without them). That thought never once has crossed my mind. But this morning, for the first time ever, I actually understood why some people make that choice. Especially someone who also has children, and a house to take care of (deployments are much, much easier in an apartment…)
My animals have been batshit crazy the past few weeks. I’ve cleaned up countless piles of throw-up , I’ve come home to find that Hermione had gotten into everything she could reach in the pantry, (the pantry that I had closed, and that Buddy had re-opened). I’ve wanted to yell at Hermione in the mornings , as she sniffs every single piece of mulch in the dog park, instead of doing her business (when I’m already running late for work). Every morning for three months, I’ve tried to ignore Buddy scratching at my bedroom door at 4:00am, before I finally give up & stumble into the kitchen to feed them.
Logically I know I’m only saying this because I’m exhausted. I’m so, so tired I’m barely functioning today. Last night I went to bed at 12:00ish, but my allergies were so bad I couldn’t sleep. I finally got up at 1:00, and took a Benadryl. It did it’s job, but my 4:00am wake-up call from Buddy was brutal. At least, I’m guessing it was. Honestly, I was so tired when I finally fell out of the tangled blankets at 8:15, I couldn’t remember if I fed them or not. So, I fed them again… just in case.
Work is also frustrating. Paperwork keeps going missing, people are irritating & I’m so, so thankful that today is my Friday.
Anyways. I know this was a lot of #firstworld whining. I just miss Graham. I miss him for 17,000 reasons, but one of those reasons is that he makes life easier. I feel guilty saying that, but it’s the truth. I married him because I’m madly in love with him, but part of the reason our marriage is so amazing is because we also have an extremely equal partnership. He helps me with things, I help him with things. We take care of each other, and together, we take care of our furry children. I make dinner, he does the dishes. I wash towels & bedding, he takes the dog out at 6:00 in the morning. I do the grocery shopping, he makes the margaritas. I miss my husband. I miss my partner.
Thankfully, we are right at the halfway point. I won’t say more due to OPSEC, but Saturday we reach a very significant milestone. Time is going by quickly, but I’m hoping once Saturday gets here, and I see the change in my countdown, it’ll just fly by even faster.
Okay. Done whining. Time to put on my big girl panties, down a diet coke, and get on with my day!