If I’m being honest, lately my life has been uneventful. It’s been a little over a month since Graham left, and while I had big plans to stay busy and positive, it’s been really, really hard. I usually give myself a good sized “wallow in self pity” period, but I feel like this time I tried to jump back into life too quickly, and it made everything so much harder.
The day before he left, we were walking Hermione, and he suggested I go get a massage to help myself relax. That was the greatest idea ever, so I immediately call the Spa at Colonial Williamsburg and make an appointment for the next day. I had a lavender and lemongrass body scrub, and then a 60 minute classic massage. It was amazing, and just what I needed.
Then over the next few days, the depression seeped in. And it was bad. I just wanted to cry. All I wanted to lay on the couch and cry. I was better when I was busy, but then when I stopped moving, I wanted to cry. During the weekend, I drove to Virginia beach and went shopping, and I started crying while sitting in traffic, and just cried on and off all day. That day I did go home, and lay on the couch and do nothing for the rest of the day. I needed my time to wallow, and be sad. I needed to actually let myself feel the way that I was feeling. The next weekend was hard, but not as bad. The weekend after that, I finally started feeling like myself again.
I know why it’s so much harder this time then it ever has been. He’s gone for a year. A whole year. We don’t have an exact homecoming date yet, but my guess is he’ll be gone for one year + a week or two. And it’s hard to wrap my head around that. We’re going to see each other for Christmas, and in April (hopefully), but I still miss him so much it hurts.
But, the past few weeks, things have gotten better. Mom was supposed to come for a visit last weekend, but since the weather was terrible, we rescheduled. I’m so glad we rescheduled, because I work up Friday morning and felt like death. I literally spent the whole weekend on the couch watching movies. My adorable companions kept me company 🙂
I’ve wanted a card catalog for AGES, and when I saw this beauty at the ReStore, I knew I would absolutely hate myself if I left it behind. So, I bought it, went home for Graham’s car since it wouldn’t fit in mine, went back to get it, and then managed to get it in the garage by myself (after taking out all 60 drawers). I stared at it for about two days, before deciding I just couldn’t live with the color. So, I read up on stripping stain out of furniture, and got to work. It’s a process, so I’m doing one side at a time… Right now I have 2 sides pretty much done. One side needs more sanding (it’s a little splotchy), but I love how it’s turning out. It may very well take me the whole year Graham is gone (stripping those 60 drawers, and then cleaning 60 pieces of hardware may take forever…) but it’s going to be so beautiful when it’s finished.
The previous owner used this piece to hold small tools and accessories in his garage. I kept finding these slips of paper when I was taking the drawers out. I’m glad the bottom detached. Otherwise it would have never fit in the car. I’m also glad that removing the drawers made it light enough that I (with the use of a hand truck) managed to get it in the garage. It took 3 guys at the ReStore to get it in my car. It’s amazing how some Brasso and an old toothbrush can take away 50ish years of grossness and make the hardware shine like new. I don’t mind cleaning all of these though. The thought of buying new hardware sends me into a panic. Not only the cost of it, but finding something that matches up with the existing holes? Ugh. No thank you. So splotchy…After a little googling, I found out I needed to use a grittier sandpaper for this portion of the project (I had been using 220, which is for the finishing step). So, after checking out a few forums, and Young House Love, I settled on 80 grit. This looks better, but it still looks splotchy. I still don’t really have a home for it yet. The place I want to put it won’t be available till we start on our kitchen renovation when Graham gets home, so I’m seriously in no hurry to get it done. I’m so obsessed with it though.
So, that’s been life since Graham has been gone. I hope it continues to get better. I hope seeing him at Christmas doesn’t put me back into a deep depression once he leaves. I hope Hermione stops eating bags of baby carrots. I hope I can be productive. And most of all, I hope he continues to stay safe and I hope he’s home soon.